Little Yakoob and the Fairy Legends of Men

Little Yakoob was a very mischevious little boy. He seldom did the things he should, and often did things he shouldn't. As it should so happen, Little Yakoob's mischief had earned him a stay with his Uncle Chester. Chester was supported by his wife, Anne – a teacher – and his children. Unemployed for the better part of two decades, he was widely regarded as the laziest man in Cheetum county. Having inherited his property from his wife's deceased father, he spent his time hunting and fishing in his duck pond.

Uncle Chester welcomed Yakoob with a look of indifference and suspicion, but nevertheless led him back to the duck pond and duck blind where he went hunting.

“You like duck hunting?” Chester mumbled.

“Never tried it, though I did hunt a monster once.” Yakoob replied.

“Well, even if you don't, at least you can eat the snacks in the blind. I got a fridge and pantry out there, and even a Nintendo if you get bored. It's solar powered, so we don't have to worry about the power going out.” Chester prided himself on the fact that his duck blind was self-sufficient. In fact, as he and Yakoob entered, Yakoob noticed it appeared as if someone had been sleeping there.

“Shouldn't the ladies have more clothes on?” Yakoob asked, having noticed the calendar on the wall.

“Oh, that?!” Chester thought quickly, “Well, those are the fairies...”

“Fairies! Really Uncle Chester?”

“Yes, and if you're lucky, you'll have fairies to grant you wishes when you're older.” Chester's mind kicked into overdrive. “You see, Yakoob, every now and then, a man gets lucky. Now a man of ordinary luck might have one fairy, but I happen to have three-”

“-Three fairies! Aren't fairies for girls,” Yakoob interjected, with his typical sarcastic tone.

“Not all fairies. As I was about to explain before you so rudely interrupted, I have three fairies. The first fairy is the Dish Fairy, who magically does the dishes and cleans the kitchen when I'm at work. And the second fairy is the Laundry Fairy, who washes and folds my laundry while I'm sleeping off a hard day's work. And the third fairy is the Shopping Fairy who lightens my wallet and makes sure the fridge is stocked with food and beer.”

Yakoob was yet incredulous, “And why haven't I seen any of these fairies?”

“Well, for starters, fairies don't wear makeup, which – as we all know – renders a woman invisible to men. But even should a boy stumble upon a fairy, she can instantaneously disguise herself as a housewife to avoid detection.”

And with that, Yakoob turned his attention to the Nintendo system.

The next morning was Saturday, and after Chester left to attend some business, Yakoob found himself alone with Anne.

“Misses Chester, do fairies really exist?” Yakoob asked.

“If you want 'em to.” Anne stopped and thought for a moment before continuing, “Why? What did Chester tell you?”

“Well, he said there's a Dish Fairy, and a Laundry Fairy-”

“-Oh. Of course. Of course those fairies exist, because Lord help him if I ever get credit for all of the work I do around here for his lazy, no good, cheap...” She caught herself, regained her composure, and finished with, “Yes, Yakoob, fairies really do exist. More than you know.”